Days passed, months passed, years left.  Everyone has a memory left behind, even though they have memories.  Memories are good, bad, or ordinary.  August for me became ordinary.  In the past, I always looked forward to this month but not this year.  Not at all.  I hope this month doesn't serve as a reminder of how I've aged.  Yes, everyone commemorates the birthday as a reflection of the decreasing age.

 August, the month of independence for the country where I have lived, drink the water and breathe the air.  It is an honor to be born in August.  However, for this year I don't seem to care much about it.  Just this time or maybe next year.

 An announcement resounded, announcing to every house to raise the red and white flag.  It is a culture of Indonesian citizens to respect how hard the struggle for independence is.  The struggle of the heroes is not obtained for free of course.  The amount of Blood paid countless lives to obtain this peace.  Therefore, waving the red and white flag is an attitude to appreciate it.

 August this year brought my feelings to just fly the white flag.  Not without reason.  Feelings of wanting to give up, sadness, despair are too domineering.  I feel stupid to say that, but that's how I feel.

 Indeed, I don't want to bring up August, but the truth is I cared about making this post.  That's how I release all the stress through writing.  A hate-love relationship is probably the right definition for this.

 Today I am lost, torn apart by painful realities.  The domination of the increasingly piercing sense of despair.  A hope that I want is that one day I read this post, everything has turned around.  Circumstances, zest for life, luck could soon embrace me.  Only that.

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