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Quarter Life Crisis

Ada bayak hal yang membuat kita secara otomatis mengaktifkan mode over-thingking . Sebuah mode dimana kita berfikir akan sesuatu yang jauh d...

Seni Menyimpan Permasalahan Hidup

Seni Menyimpan Permasalahan Hidup

skill yang muncul ketika bertambah dewasa adalah kemampuan menyimpan dan menyembunyikan masalah. "umur bertambah, teman berkurang". awalnya saya tidak percaya akan teori itu, hingga akhirnya saya mengalaminya sendiri. teori itu tidak sepenuhnya salah, meskipun juga tidak sepenuhnya benar. tapi itu terjadi. beneran. 

berkurangnya teman membuat intensi untuk curhat di medsos meningkat. hal yang wajar ketika tidak mempunyai orang untuk sekedar diajak ngobrol sehingga mencurahkan semuanya di medsos. disitulah sebenarnya skill untuk menyimpan masalah harusnya digunakan. 

dahulu saya orang yang cukup reaktif terhadap segala permasalahan pribadi yang muncul. hingga beberapa akun medsos saya dipenuhi oleh kalimat curhatan, keputusasaan serta keluhan. teman baik saya kemudian memberitau bahwa hal tersebut sebaiknya tidak saya lakukan. ternyata memang benar, seberapapun kita mengeluarkan keluhan dan masalah di ranah publik, hal tersebut tidak cukup membantu untuk meringankan (dalam kasus saya). justru beberapa orang tertarik untuk membaca keluhan kita yang pada akhirnya menjadi konsumsi mereka. beberapa orang senang melihat orang lain susah. that's the fact. 

kalaupun ingin menulis semua masalah, sekarang saya lebih memilih untuk menulis semuanya di note pribadi yang ditaruh pada sebuah folder dengan password dan keamanan rumit. itu terapi yang cukup membantu, dan juga membuat saya terbebas dari orang-orang yang senang mengkonsumsi keluhan dan permasalahan orang lain. 

jadi sebenarnya memendam masalah tidak sepenuhnya dipendam dalam fikiran. ada kalanya semuanya perlu dikeluarkan dalam bentuk tulisan, kemudian disimpan dengan sangat rapih tanpa orang lain bisa membacanya. 

Day 30 #30DayWritingChallenge

Day 30 #30DayWritingChallenge

Write about your childhood ambitions

As a child, my mind was filled with various desires to become someone cool in the future. Various dream jobs became the beginning of my ambition. Showing off each other's dreams to friends is something that is done almost every day. The rarer a dream we mention, the cooler we feel at that time.

When I was in elementary school, I really wanted to be a pilot. Of course, it was my spectacle when I saw the pilot figure was a very interesting person. Riding a plane is a cool thing, even when getting on a plane is something amazing at that time.

When I was in middle school, I wanted to be a soldier. It seemed, having a sturdy body and holding a weapon in hand was the coolest thing. That's a soldier in my imagination.

When I was in high school, I changed everything. Being a minister is something I think is cool. Somehow I can think like that, even though there is a person who is cooler than the minister, the president. The minister for me is a person who can contribute greatly to a country in a certain field. However, the large number of ministers who stumbled in corruption changed my view of ministers. In the end, the minister doesn't seem to be my real ambition.

Childhood ambitions are always fickle. As the brain is influenced by various spectacles received, as well as the environment that shapes the way of thinking. Wishing and having ambitions as a child is a very fun thing. No matter what path and how to reach it, everything feels will come true in the future. These ambitions continued to be nurtured well until finally, maturity made me see the real reality. 

It's opening my mind, change after a change in every phase of life I continue to experience, even now. When I got a question of what my current ambition is, I can't answer it. Again, it's because of something that shaped me to only have ambitions in my own heart. It's all because other people's expectations are troublesome for me.
Day 29 #30DayWritingChallenge

Day 29 #30DayWritingChallenge

Who and what adds meaning to your life?

Everyone is the main character in his life. God acts as a director, and there are other supporting characters who act as supporters of the main players. In addition, there are also other characters who create conflicts so that the storyline becomes more complicated and interesting. All of them have their respective roles and portions.

For me, the people who add meaning to my life are all those I have ever been with and interacted with. Even if only for a short period of time. Of course, I totally agree with the quote that "everyone in our lives will keep coming and going". As a human, being left behind is something that will definitely be experienced during life. Until in the end, we will leave that life. Abandoned and left is something that is absolute and we can't avoid it.

So who? the biggest persons in adding meaning to my life are my parents. Not only did they pass on the genetic material to me, but they also passed down most of the values ​​they believed to be instilled into my character. The fruit doesn't fall far from the tree, something like that.

I also consider everyone who has ever participated in the course of my life. All those people if I write in this post will make the number of words in this post greater than all words in the posts I have ever written. 

Besides, what things add meaning to my life? very philosophical question. I think, as far as I have lived until now, what adds meaning to my life is my dream. My life is running on the basis of getting to my dreams. Everything I faced, the obstacles I went through and all the traps of life that hurt me were part of my dream. Then, what is my dream?  sorry, it's only me and god know. I'm not the person who writes down the dreams on a public platform, I'm just afraid it will become a burden for me. But, my dream will never disappear from my head, every day I always think about it. That's why it gave meaning to me, to this day.
Day 28 #30DayWritingChallenge

Day 28 #30DayWritingChallenge

Where do you wish to travel next?

Looking back at my passport to see my travel history, the last time visa was in Thailand and China. Covid was robbed of my freedom to visit abroad. I should be back in China in 2020, but the border is still closed now. Actually, If I'm given the chance to go overseas again, for whatever reason I hope to go to a continent other than Asia. My choice is more inclined to the European continent though. But there is one place I want to visit the most besides Europe. Mecca is the place I wish to travel to next. Maybe not just me, but most Muslims will choose mecca. 

I really want to go to Mecca for Umrah or Hajj. bringing my parents there is my dream. Hopefully, this post will be the starting point to realize my dream. Besides Mecca, I also want to go to Medina, a city that also has Islamic historical value and tourism for worship.

Mecca, Medina, and the third is Manchester. Nothing to do with the worship of course. But I have an emotional side to football for Manchester. The hometown of my favorite team, Man United. One day, I will be there.